Milk, no sugar.

"It's been a long day," said me every afternoon for the past 5 years, and I'll probably say it for the rest of my life. I'm just so busy, not necessarily proactive, but constantly doing something or listing things that I have to do. At the end of it all, my brain is a McDonald's burger and my body a packet of fries. And so, I do what I do every time I feel a breakdown approaching.
I make myself a cuppa tea.
Not just any tea, it has to be Earl Grey or Vanilla Rooibos. And a rusk on the side (they have seeds... technically they're healthy, right?) And I sit. And I ponder. And I write and dream and think about him, or the dishes in the sink that need a wash, or the fact that today was actually beautiful but I spent the hours stressing over the hours as they passed.

This is why I'm here. To sip my tea and discover 3 things that were beautiful today, or 3 things I should have done, shouldn't have ignored. Basically, to analyse how much attention I paid to the leaves underfoot and the girl that smiled at me over the counter. It's all about adjusting my perspective and forcing myself to see the world, not just look.

Now, I'm going to make myself a cuppa tea with the little milk I have left, and try to reflect on what made today splendid, so that tomorrow I'll bask in it with the abandonment of a tea bag in hot water.

Welcome to the teapot factory.

Monday, 18 April 2016

Day 6

Well... Today has been a serious day of revelations for me. It hasn't even been a week and already I'm feeling the change in myself just from describing 3 beautiful things each day. Instead of sunsets and food and cups of tea today, however, I'm appreciating lessons I've learned and spiritual things I can cherish. Here goes.

1. Friends you can call at midnight. So, last night I experienced a slight wobbly. I'd made a massive life decision, and 2 months down the line I regretted it. Balling my eyes out in my room with nothing but my tear-stained pillow to comfort me, I called my highschool bestie who I haven't spoken to in months. Mind the fact that it was the middle of the night, but she's the only person who honestly gets me and I needed to speak to her. She was as she had always been: understanding, empathetic and giver of advice. We spoke for over an hour, the tears rolling down my face were now from laughter. I cherish her beyond belief, and all our crazy jokes and dreams. She's truly an angel sent to help me. I love friends you can call at midnight.

2. Being able to exercise. I know a lot of people hate exercise (even me 90% of the time), but today I had this urge to just skip a thousand times or run 10 km. And so I did (the skipping, that is, I can't run 1 km). We actually don't realise how privileged we are to be able to exercise. So many people either don't have the physical capacity, or don't have enough energy to spare on a light jog. That morning-after strain of the muscles is one of the best feelings, and I'm so grateful my body is healthy enough to experience it. So I need to stop complaining about going for a run, and see it as a gift.

3. When it's meant to happen, planned to happen, will happen. Basically, everything happens for a reason. So. How do I explain this... You know when something happens in your life, you see someone in the shops from 10 years ago that just earlier you and your friend happened to talk about? Or you spend the day thinking about roast chicken and it happens to be dinner that night? Those weird coincidences, I find are rather reassuring. It's like a reminder that we're not completely alone in this universe, drifting through space with no purpose and no plan. There's some scheme to our lives, regardless of whether we are in control or a God is, there's method in the madness. It's a comforting thought; my life isn't an accident. Everything that happens fits into the puzzle. So things happening now may seem evasive, unnecessary, painful even. But, in the bigger picture, it has a purpose leading up to something massive we can't comprehend yet. Yeah, I like that thought. I think I'll think about that more often.

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